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Laundry’s little lesson

January 4

 

 

Today I was totally focused on doing laundry!

No matter what, I was going to climb the Mt. Everest of laundry piles in my laundry room and conquer that summit!

Of course in our house, with four biological kids from my first marriage, four inherited children from my current marriage, a foster son from Georgia and a dog who thinks he's a kid; laundry can be more of an epic drama than a daily chore!

 

As soon as I see the light break through or rather the bottom of the last hamper, someone plops another pile from nowhere.

If I could get my money to duplicate that quickly I could hire Bill Gates to do my dang laundry for me!

 

My family is not full of fashion icons by any stretch of the imagination, all though if you ask them they think they are the next cover of Vogue.

The thing is with everyone but the dog, doing various forms of sports and activities; it's not uncommon for them to have to change clothes several times a day!

 

The older boys try to help out by doing their own clothes when they can. But the little ones more than make up for that and are avid contributors to the growth of Mt. Everest, I mean the laundry pile! 

I was diligently trying to locate the ever illusive missing sock, totally frustrated, when it hit me!

 

Mother Mary, Mother of God, how did you handle sock sorting? Oh, yeah! Her family only wore sandals! That explains her radiant continence!

 

I know with a large family you need to be organized and I totally am, well at least in the laundry room! I mean, I always know where the pile is, I never lose it or misplace it! I try to lose it, but that sucker just keeps right on coming back, like the dog!

Now socks on the other hand, I can never find any that match to save my life!

I even went out and bought some of those "Do Hickey Clippie" things to keep your socks together in the wash.

Guess what? It so worked!

I lost both socks! Well, at least now they won't be lonely!

But the thing that really hit me was that we, as humans, women in particular, spend way too much time worrying about the small things!

I know that everyone says that it's the small things that count; but I think when they said that they were referring to emotional, loving things, not mundane everyday things.

 

I know that caring for my family is important, but I really don't think my boys care one way or another if their socks are a perfect match or not. As proof I offer the fact that, one of the boys was wearing one of his sister's socks with the pink lining on the toe the other day.

He's reply when confronted with the evidence?

"Honestly guys, who cares? No one can see that part, it's inside the shoe!"

Well his sister cared as she was going nuts looking for it, but his comment was valid.

 

By the same token we spend countless hours cooking and cleaning to entertain people we very rarely see. Yet have no qualms about dishing out macaroni and cheese with soggy hot dogs to our families on bargain basement paper plates for dinner! That somehow didn't make too much sense to me! Not that I would ever do anything like that, Okay guys stop laughing at me, point taken!

 

As I was slowly scaling the mount, eh, laundry pile I came across a pair of black pants that belong to my youngest son Alexi. While I was folding them he came into the room and glancing over and said, "Those don't fit me anymore!"

I looked over to him as he walked back out and suddenly realized how much he really had grown!

 

My goodness, why hadn't I noticed before? Was I really that wrapped up in the day to day grind of running a home?

What else was I missing?

So today I vowed to make an effort to care less about laundry, impressing strangers or runaway, errant socks and care more about run away moments!

You know the moments we take for granted because we think they are endless?

Like watching cartoons with the youngest kids on a rainy Saturday morning or having your boys teach you how to shot a basketball in the driveway (no matter how ridiculous you might look to the neighbors!)

Or simply hanging out and cooking a good meal, on nice china, without complaining or rushing, just for my family.

 

Those are the small things worth worrying about; because unlike the lost socks that you can replace, once those precious moments are gone, they are gone forever!

 

So instead of letting them slip by unnoticed, grab them and savor them as the sweet, nuggets they are!

Now that I think of it, the Mt. laundry pile can wait a little bit longer!

Hey guys anyone up for some popcorn and a Looney tunes cartoon marathon?

Last one on the couch is a rotten egg!


New beginnings.

"Sometimes, the only way to start something is to start something!"

Blog Awards Winner

 

 

 

January 1

 

I realized this morning that I had two choices on this New Year's Day.

Choice A, I could feel totally depressed over all the things I said I would do last year and didn't,

or there was choice B, I could feel totally excited about the fact that I have a whole brand new 365 days (366 if it's a leap year!) to try again!

One of the things I do plan to accomplish this year is to write a book.

I always wanted to write a book. I don't even care if it doesn't ever get published! Although seeing your name in print would be kind of cool! I never really thought I had the discipline to sit down and write page after page of something. Then it dawned on me!

I had kept a journal since my early teen years and most of my adult life. So I figured if I scanned through my journals and put all my favorite entries together, pretty soon I would have a book!

Pretty smart huh, even if I do say so myself!

I read a sign the other day that said, "Winners make things happen, losers watch things happen!" This really got me thinking. I never really was one for New Year's Eve resolutions. The way I looked at it, I don't have to wait until the end of a year to make a new resolution. Mostly because by the time the New Year came around I would forget what the heck I wanted to change anyway!

But mostly because that's what new days are for! So for today I made two resolutions:

1. I would go with plan B and

2. I would be someone that makes things happen.

Besides if you keep watching and staring at something for too long someone's going to think you are zoning out or just plain nosy!

Happy New Year's World!

 

Ordinary woman


Dedication for The extraordinary life of an ordinary woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"For sometimes the things of real beauty are overlooked because of their everyday simpleness"

This book is dedicated to my simple eighth-grade English teacher

at the Roberts Elementary school in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Mr. Newton awoke the love of the written word and encouraged

its growth by fertilizing it with love, patience

and most of all creative, constructive criticism.

Mr. Dancy, Mr. Donovan, and Mr. Richie, thank you

for taking an interest in a skinny, abused student.

Your dedication to your profession is one of the main reasons

I am who I am today.

To my husband Mel, for believing in me,

even when I didn't believe in myself. 

For reading my book a billion times and reassuring me,

That there was a valid message within its pages.

For loving me when I wasn't very lovable and

most of all for just being my rock!

I love you, Superman.

To my Heavenly Father, even though I know I should have

put him first, for always being there for me even

when I pushed him away! Thank you!

And lastly for trusting me with nine beautiful,

smart, funny and loving children who stole my heart

and taught me to never to give up no matter how hard things got.

They showed me how to love unconditionally by accepting each other

better than blood siblings could ever love each other,

but mostly for being my most ardent cheerleaders! Thanks, you all!

 

"For in great trials shall greatness be build!"

                            Ordinary Wmn 2008


Our Family Tree

This is my family tree as it has grafted and grown together as one!

And soon there will be more branches as my grand-babies start to arrive.

Just remember it does not matter where you are today, tomorrow can always be the day you turn it all around!!

Enjoy the stories of my family's adventures as much as I enjoyed living them and writing about them!!

Ordinary Woman


And, finally, there is, me!

My whole life whenever it came to talking or writing about me it was always very difficult. I guess trying to express to others what I had done or accomplished was very hard for me, because I never thought of these deeds as a big deal.

I was born in San Jose, Costa Rica. My birth mother had me when she was barely 22 years old and I never really formally met my father. Fifteen months after my birth she had my little sister with a different man. My mother left me with my godmother's family when I was barely two years old; she left my sister with our Uncle's family. Her game plan was to come to the United States, work, save money and then send for us.

She must have forgotten that part once she got here and just decided to start her life over without the burden of two small girls. She went on to get married and have another two kids, a boy and a girl.

My life with my adopted family was hard and lonely. My adopted mother was in her later forties when I came to live with them and she was not a young "forties". She was a cold, distant woman, who was not very loving or supportive of me. Later on she lavished plenty of love on my boys, some good, some not so good, which made up for how she treated me.

My adoptive mother came to the United States herself when I was seven years old and being so young I had no choice but to come with her. I was grateful for this move just because it got me away from her husband who was abusive.

Once in the United States she went through a sort of mid-life crisis and started dating a guy young enough to be her son. Once he left, she moved on to someone else who had a drinking problem and she went along with it.

I finally left home at 16 years old to get away from this by getting married. Unfortunately my new husband was a drinker too, who had serious insecurity issues.

We had four boys together and even though he did have his good qualities, we were polar opposites. Luckily years after our divorce we have become friends.

I always wanted to better my life and further my education. In between having my boys I earned my GED, my Medical Assisting certification, and graduated from the Metropolitan police academy. A year after becoming a police officer I signed up to training to be a member of our department's tactical operations unit. I, being the only female, along with one hundred and ten men started a grueling twelve week training program.

the end of the training there was 60 of us left and only 44 openings, I earned one of the spots. While on the Metro Police I worked as an Intel officer,Drill instructor, court officer, patrol duty, public relations, entry team member, among others. While pregnant with my fourth son I started college, majoring in criminal justice.

After six years on the Tactical unit our state government decided to merge all the state run police agencies into one and we all became State troopers. With the merger the tactical unit was disbanded and I was placed as an alternate on the State Police S.T.O.P team.

I was transferred into the Weed and Seed program. We were responsible for helping to eradicate street level crime, like prostitution and drug sales. I went on to be in the homicide unit, work undercover, work with various federal agencies and other duties.

After my divorce I was planning on fast tracking my career to ensure the financial picture for my family. That was until I met Mel. Once we got married and realized the challenges his kids were facing, someone needed to be home. I had the seniority so I took an early retirement to be home with the kids.

I got offered a part time job as a community organizer for the city I moved into and I loved it. My kids got to go to most of the events I organized and it was a growing experience for all of us.

This is when I started by first business as a motivational speaker. I got to travel and it was a blast from all the great people I met.

Once the contract as a community organizer was over I went back to being a homemaker, with the occasional speaking engagement, and this is when I started writing my book.

Jess and Chris wanted to go to Italy with their high school class so I took a "Temporary" job as a security officer in a secure site. In less than a year I was promoted to shift supervisor and assistant project manager.
Unfortunately I was being sucked back into the career track and that is not what I was looking for at that time; after almost three years there I realized I either had to keep rising through the ranks or become stagnant in my growth.

I learned so much while there, the people I worked with were amazing and I really got to grow as a person. It was very hard to leave my co-workers, but I knew I was not ready to share my family time with my career.

I took a short term position as a job developer for people who needed assistance in finding work. I learned real quick that I was not a fit for the time commitment required, but I met the best clients, some of which are still my friends now.

Now I have found the perfect fit for me! I teach Criminal justice to some of the most amazing students! The hours are tailor made to my life right now and I look forward to going into the classroom everyday!!

While doing this I help my sons run their company, while still running my own business. I also, finally, with only Alexi at home, have the time to go back to school for my Master's degree and beyond.

I maintain four, well two different blogs and I help Buddie the dog and Vita the pampered diva type out their two blogs.

I love my life right now! But if you had asked me that a few years ago, I would have thought you were nuts!!

So Here I am to share my book after completing the introductions of our family! If you want to be introduced to Buddie and Vita you can read their blog at www.ordinarywmn.com/dawgsworld (Shameless promotional plug here)

I hope that my story can motivate you to strive to be what you really want to be, no matter how long or how many tries it takes!!!

So come along with me and enjoy my story~

The extraordinary life of an ordinary woman!

 

 

 

 


Finally, his, hers and mine, James made nine!,

 

Life is funny with the tests it will throw at you when you least expect it or need it!

Shortly after Mel and I got engaged we were in the process of moving back to my hubby's home town to be closer to his kids.

When I say my life was hectic I am putting it mildly. My two oldest boys were getting in and out of trouble with the police and their involvement with a local gang was the main reason for it. I was trying everything I could to pull them away from that lifestyle while trying to heal my own wounds from the financial strain I was still going through as a result of my own divorce. My ex had basically fallen of the face of the planet and I was being chased around by every bill collector who was looking for him. We had lost our home that I had worked so hard to buy. Luckily I was able to find a nice 2 family to rent with an option to buy for a reasonable price. The bad news was that the upper floors had been occupied for twenty years by a tenant with a severe drinking problem and the whole place was in horrible disarray.

I had to pay for all the repairs out of my own pocket as that was part of the deal for the low rent. The boys helped me clean-up, rip out rugs, wallpaper and paint. I had to pay to have the hardwood floors finished and to have new rugs installed. I had planned to make this my new permanent home.

Well, life had different plans. When Mel and I got engaged we were going to live here. His Kids would come and stay every weekend and holiday with us. But they were having some issues and we needed to be closer during the rest of the week, so that was why we decided to move back to his hometown. For me I thought the move would help me get the boys away from the bad influences.

In the middle of all this, is when James came into the picture, he was from Georgia and Derek met him one summer when James was here visiting family.

Out of the blue Derek told us that James was being kicked out of his Uncle's house because since he turned 18 years old the welfare benefits ran out and his Uncle told him he was not going to support him unless he got paid! James still had a year left in school and other he was a decent kid.

I have no clue why but Mel talked to him over the phone, sight unseen and agreed to have him move in with us!

All these years later we have not regretted it. He is a loving caring person, who has struggled to overcome trust issues. He also has a hard time letting people in emotionally, but he keeps working on trying to form real family ties.

He has had disagreements with the older boys but somehow they have worked it out. He was a gifted football player, field and track star, artist and now is working on his music career. I am sure he is going to accomplish what ever goals he sets for himself.