Welcome to this amazing adventure, I call life!

Because sometimes the only thing left to do is..run.

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I started running when I was 21 years old, not out of desire, but out of neccesity. I was about to enter the police academy and needed to be in the best cardio shape for the physical demands. I would run several miles almost every day.

While actually in the academy, I ran more miles than I care to remember, including some in grueling heat, and weighed down with gear and heavy combat boots.

After I graduted and was a full fledged cop I discovered something strange, I actually missed all the running, so it became a regular habit for me to keep logging the miles.

Running has always helped me to be a better police officer. It helped me earn a spot on the Special Ops unit and as the only female I had to do twice the running to keep up with the much stronger men.

During my divorce, running kept me sane. I knew that no matter how bad life was, a run would always make it, or actually me, better.

I am not the fastest runner, I was built for distance, not speed, yet I have managed to place top two in my age division three times, which is pretty darn good for someone that really was not allowed to be in any sports as a child.

I ran a half marathon in 2001 and while I got violently ill after the finish, it was by far one of the best experiences of my life and I set my sights on running a full marathon.

When I started getting ill more and more after running or working out I started to realize something was not right. Dozens of doctors had different options from don't workout, have no idea what it is, its all in your head or you are getting old time to hang up the sneakers.

I will not bore you with the details but fast forward 12 years, and I finally came to a conclusion; I could either be in pain and not run, or run and be free for at least a little while. I ran.

My dream has always been to run a marathon and since I grew up in Massachusetts, the Boston marathon has always been an iconic part of my life. 

On April 15, 2013 when the bombs went off at the Boston marathon finish line, it was as if a part of my childhood had been violated. I was angry, upset and horrified that someone could bring such evil to an event that meant so much to me. It made me think for a split second that there really was only cruelty left in the world.

But then something beyond words happened.

A city rose from the darkest of shadows and showed the world how to overcome adversity and shine in the glow of goodness.

We saw strangers risk their lives to help the injured, Law enforcement officers go days without sleep to bring the responsible parties to answer for their cowardly attacks, and we saw average, ordinary people became extraordinary heroes right before our very eyes.

The City of Boston and its people exemplified the spirit of the marathon. These people, my people, went the distance, step by step, small deed by small deed, act of kindness by act of kindness, showing the world that nothing can keep us from finishing what we started.

While many of the injured have months, even years ahead of them to heal, recover and regain their lives back, I know that they will endure, and prevail in the end.

Its the Boston way.

My journey to finishing a marathon is something that I will accomplish no matter what traditional medicine tries to shove down my throat. 

The reason I know I will accomplish this goal is because, now every time I go for a run, every mile, every step I take, I take it for those that died and those that might not be able to run for a while, if ever.

I know I cannot bring them back or make their injuries disappear, but the least I can do is honor the runner within them, by not letting anything keep me from the joy of the run, because sometimes the only thing you can do, is run!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Create a dream

The greatest thing in life is that you can start creating your dream into a reality at any point in your existence .

It is never too late to achieve some form of your desires.... You might not be able to hit a home run, but you can mentor someone into being the greatest home run hitter, and have the joy of knowing,
:"Yeah I helped create that!"
So you can poison the well or nourish the fields! (ordinarywmn 2013)
Its all up to you!!

Blessed Sunday everyone!!


Being Bitter or being better!

 (Since nothing you receive makes you happy, you will go back to having nothing at all!)

                                     The Old man and the Fish

 

 

   It seems everyone feels the need to make New Year resolutions that we all know very rarely get followed through to fruition.

We all want deep down inside to be more productive, more successful, healthier, richer etc., but ultimately our humanness gets in the way and we fall short of our deepest desires.

When I was a young girl, growing up in a miserably, dysfunctional existence my dreams and secret desires were what kept me going day to day.

The ability to dream of a brighter future gave me the strength to survive another day in the hell that my life was at the hands of my mother and her cohorts.

With that said, some people that struggle in life, have a sense of karmic entitlement where they are owed a perfect life after enduring hard times.

This could not be further from the truth and honestly there is a reason for this reality.

2012 for me and my family was the biggest roller coaster ride of my life next to 2000.

In the year 2000 we lost my mother in law to Cancer. While devastating, she was in her 70's had raised her kids, seen her grandchildren, great grand children and lived an amazing life later on, that of set her suffering earlier on. We were able to cope and knew that it was the circle of life.

In 2012 we lost our daughter in law to Cancer. Sarah was 32, beautiful, had two amazing babies and her whole life ahead of her. it didn't make sense. It wasn't the circle of life and Sarah had not had a chance to be fully repaid Karmically for the hardships she endured as a child.

All my personal accomplishments, winning Mrs. Woman Petite World, winning Ms. U.S of America, working in films, winning a road race and others, were washed away and meant nothing with our Sarah gone.

My husband and I put our life in storage and I moved to PA. to assist my son with his two, now motherless, boys.

Let me make this clear, this decision was NOT a sacrifice, it was a no brainer, what family does for family.

Nine months after the loss of Sarah and moving in with my son, while my husband remained behind still working, 2012 comes to a close.

I feel that I truly did have the option to become bitter, to be mad at God.

To be upset at mothers that use their kids as pawns agains their fathers.

To be hostile towards spouses that take each other for granted and do nothing but complain about their partner to anyone that will listen.

I could be angry at parents that ignore their kids or act as if they are a burden.

I can be steamed at people that waste their lives complaining about all they should get, but never do anything to work towards their goals.

I could really be bitter and all of the above that I have meantioned, but I can't, because then everything Sarah stood for, lived for, would be wasted!

I have decided to be better.

To enjoy everyday just a little longer.

To appreciate people a bit more.

To realize that for all the crap that life has handed me, it has also blessed me with so much more.

I can chose to focus only on the darkness or I can focus on the rose pushing through the winter's chilling, death's grip and still manages to bloom.

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Rose blooming December 18, 2012 in PA.

While I truly believe that everyday is a new day to make resolutions. To try harder, love deeper, hold on longer, and forgive and forget with true humility in our hearts, I also feel that 2012 has given me the biggest lesson of all.

I have learned that the reason we don't get a Karmic pass after suffering is because, no matter what we have, whether we are pauper or prince, our true joy, our inner peace or contentment does not come from anyone other then ourselves.

It is so easy to sit there and blame everyone else for our unhappiness, but the true question is what are you doing to make yourself happy?

If all you do is point out the faults in your spouse, then I guess that is all you will see.

If all you do is complain about what you don't have, then you miss out on the joy of what you do have.

Remember the old saying, "I was sad because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet".

We as a people need to start taking ownership of our own happiness and need to stop playing the blame game.

I of all people have learned this, now more than ever.

I can keep airing my dirty laundry, my illnesses, my hardships etc. to get pity and to try to get people to take my "side", to feel sorry for me, or I can realize that the last thing I want in life is to be pitied!

I want to be strong.

I want to be a positive light for good.

I want to be that person that when others walk away from me they leave with a spark from my light of hope.

As difficult as 2012 was, it was by far the year that I grew the most as a person, woman, mother, wife and human being.

I will never take anything for granted again.

I have learned that cyber friends, were at times more there for me that people that were a few feet away.

I have learned that kids I had known for years, were now adults with compassion, loyalty and a loving desire to help.

I have learned that some people seriously go out of their way to make themselves miserable and unhappy no matter how blessed they are in life.

These people are the wife from the story of "the old man and the fish", no matter how much they are given, they will never be happy and will not stop until they have nothing or no one left.

They have grown so used to being unhappy, and contentious, that when they have love, and stability in their lives, they will stop at nothing until they leave only chaos and carnage in their wakes.

What an absolute waste of a life and of God's gifts.

I have lastly learned that negative people have no place in my life or in my inner circle, because nothing I do or say will change their outlook on life. Misery loves company and that is one party I refuse to attend.

With that said 2013 for me will have only one resolution.

I will be better, not bitter.

Whatever I accomplish or lose in 2013 will be my own doing or my own fault. I have no one to blame or praise for this, except myself.

I will also remember to give the glory to God! Whether it is good, bad or indifferent.

I will also remember to be grateful for the amazing man, who while far from perfect, is the man who truly accepts me, for me, warts and all, my husband!

It is my desire that everyone I know will have that Epiphany that will be a turning point for them, happen to them without having to go through great loss or suffering, as it has happened to me.

I don't profess to mean that this will result in me suddenly achieving astronomical success or untold riches, but it does mean that what ever I do achieve, receive, earn or accomplish, I will be humbly and eternally grateful for it and will appreciated every second of every day.

I pray that everyone of you has an amazing and, as my baby girl Sarah would say fabulous 2013.

And never forget nothing is impossible to a willing heart!